Hello,
The thought on my mind today is on missed opportunities.. and the WEIGHT that comes with the realization of those times you missed..or just overwhelming sorrow and guilt for stepping in the way of God reaching another heart. I'm really sad about this today realizing a lot of times I missed or failed to see.. Either to tell someone about my personal relationship with Christ, or when I failed to trust in God and relied on my own assumptions about how that person is reacting to me AS I'm telling them about Christ.. which i usually do. I tend to read people's reactions as I'm talking, and focus too much on that which really just makes me doubt. Anyway, my pastor said something today that hit home really hard. He wasn't really talking about evangelism, but he was talking about living for God in today's society and how the world's expectations of us (as children of God) are often greater than the expectations we place on ourselves.
For example, one time I'm out with my friends, a friend (non christian, but seeking) sitting across from me says "em, what are you drinking" I go through the scenario of what to do when your in that situation of "to drink or not drink" ("NOT TO DRINK!!") anyway, i sensed a disapointment in her when i went with the "just one drink" answer... this was last semester before we went through Rainbow's thoughts on drinking and witnessing on this blog. But I specifically remember the disapointment in her face and her reaction when I ordered a drink. Because she was expecting me not to..
I was sharing with another friend this week. He's a pretty quirky guy. I've known him for a few years, and I ran into him after praying for him the night before. No question about the divine appointment here.. it was just too uncanny. so, I'm sharing with him.. but again, I rely on my assumptions and interpretations of his facial expressions. He had just finished describing his agnotistic beliefs, how he avoids Christianity because he doesn't like the conversion idea. The word "convert" for some reason really turned him off... so I'm sitting there doing what's involved in this "conversion" process. (telling him the gospel) And because this guy is so quirky, and not very serious when I usually talk to him.. I'm usually not serious. So as I'm explaining stuff to him, I'm not being very focused or serious. (about Christianity) Like, what is more serious!!! then he asks me, in a completely different tone then I've ever heard him talk, "why are you laughing, you're supposed to be TELLING me".... HE HAD JUST FINISHED SAYING HE DIDN'T LIKE CHRISTIANS CONVERTING, BUT HE WAS EXPECTING ME TO DO IT!! and he was DISAPOINTED I wasn't doing it properly!!!
holy crap.
My pastor also said today, "they expect..because in their hearts they know that as children of God, its what we should" what i see/percieve in a conversation is one thing, peoples hearts are another.
4 comments:
huuh...great points! i can completely relate. i read into things waaaayyy too much too, including anticipating how someone's going to react in a certain situation. it's like i never give them a chance to do otherwise. aka: i suck @ extending grace!
but good for you for at least taking the opportunity...that's the 1st step for sure!
yeah I totally agree. I've been learning the same thing. Assuming doesn't help anyone. It's our job to present the gospel & for people to make the choice.
yeah Em that is kind crazy and I have the same problem, I assume that someone isn't so much listening or I assume they are not interested and then realize how many times I probably could have shared the gospel with them and didn't! But yeah God extends grace to us just like he does to those who don't know Him. But it's such a good reminder at the same time!!
Wow... interesting thoughts Em. Thanks for sharing. It seems so natural to rely on our feelings, instincts and assumptions rather than on the Holy Spirit.
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