Soooooooo I guess you wouldn't have thought I'd be posting about this ALREADY. But alas, I am. I'm just really feeling the consequences of not really ever having a break this summer. After project I spent 2 weeks a the bellingham's which was restful in some ways, but in others I was doing so much for publicity already, or just not really having that ability to truly relax - being in someone else's place. And then for my 2 weeks at my parents respective places, I really wasn't relaxing either because of those ghastly tshirts and banner I had to get printed thanks to Campus Ministries' wonderful name change.
And now I'm here in Kingston.... have just been a part of tons of frosh planning, executing* and general socializing. I'm so exhausted. on so many levels. and school hasn't even started - seriously, I FORGOT THAT I CAME BACK TO QUEEN'S FOR SCHOOL!
I was reminded of a couple things that I learned this summer about forcing myself to take a rest (ie, keeping the sabbath holy) and remaining in Him (good ol' John 15, eh Chara?) anddddd some other pretty important stuff like 1 Peter 4:11 (if anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ).
I figure, I really need to learn to pace myself. The crazy thing is, I can't really pinpoint the stress origin right now. i don't really know if it's caused by, say, publicity in general. I'm hoping that perhaps it is and it will calm down after frosh week when things start to get settled. And when I stop putting so much pressure on myself for everything to go perfect.
And something Brad said awhile ago came back to me. I just sort of mentioned how I'm preparing to deal with burn out in second semester with the big outreach, and he was just like "Or, you could try and avoid it." So simple and blunt - i guess I got a taste of my own medicine!! So pray that I can somehow manage to avoid it rather than just brace for the inevitable. I know God can do amazing things on this campus and hopefully that will be magnified by our presence on campus being publicized. But I also need to accept that I will fail and God can work through that or despite it. Man, God is cool. I wish I could have some sort of relationship with Him. (jokes).
*there were no frosh killed in the executing of the frosh week activities
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3 comments:
hey dude...well i could pry just tell you this in person, but that requires walking 10 minutes from stauffer to your house....not happening. lol.
the hardest thing for me when i'm feeling burnout-ish is being discplined to spend time ALONE, despite having 9 different things you could be doing with your free time or 27 different people you could be visiting and catching up with instead. and especially without really having 'vacation' time this year, it's hard to slowdown when you haven't been able to for months.
i can't remember if i shared this with you guys in mtl, but here's a reflection on psalms 23 that's really helped me out over the years:
Psalm 23 - Stress Version
The clock is my dictator - I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when I'm exhausted.
It leads me into deep depression.
It hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity's sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task, I will never get it all done for my target is ever before me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me beyond the limits of my schedule.
They anoint my head with migraines.
My in-box overflows.
Surely fatigue and the time pressure shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.
_____________________
Compare the above version that so often describes our lives with the following paraphrase:
_____________________
A paraphrase of Psalm 23
“The Lord is my pacesetting, I shall not rush.
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals.
He provides me with images of
stillness, which restore my serenity.
He leads me in the ways of
efficiency through calmness of mind and his guidance of peace.
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish this day,
I will not fret for His presence is here.
His timeliness is all-important.
He will keep me in balance.
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity.
By anointing my mind with His oils of tranquillity, my cup of joyous energy overflows.
Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours for I shall walk in the pace of my Lord and dwell in His heaven forever.”
- Tokio Megashio
"Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me."
shoot. that's totally me. i'm so lame!
Man, that sounds like such a Japanese thing to say :P
Jess, I totally identify with you. My problem is I have no idea how to avoid the burnout that I see coming because I think I've already overcommitted myself. What I plan on doing (if this helps at all) is to treat my day like a standard work day. 9 - 5 (or whenever) is school work/extra curricular time. Sit down and reevaluate if I absolutely need to spend extra time on extra curricular stuff. Get home, spend some time with the family, then few hours at the end of the day doing studying.
Hmmm... I just read that and realized that there's no devotional time slotted in. I guess that's why writing is so good eh?
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