relationwhat?

So since the topic of conversation is relationships, I will talk about it too. Because I follow trends. Also because I have lots to say on the topic as always.

The last week I was thinking about relationships a lot. How I'm not in a romantic one etc. and also about my friendship-type-relationships. I was feeling something missing in my life and really couldn't put my finger on it. Until I was talking with chara about it on friday night, trying to figure out what I was sensing, and then a picture of you guys popped up on her screen saver. I started to cry. Now this is a pretty unusual occasion, very unusal. I usually don't really miss people deeply enough to bring me to tears. ever. not my family. no one. I've only ever cried once when leaving people and that was because I knew I'd probably never see them again. turns out i'm living with one of them! Anyways, you losers made me cry because I really miss living in community with you guys. I really miss everything about it. How I got annoyed with you guys and how you were always encouraging me, being your dorky selves, loving each other, worshipping together. All of it. I miss that. A lot. I heart you guys.

And then I also was thinking about the more romantic type of relationship. Jeremy, Darb, Jon & James, this is going to freak you out a bit because you don't think like us women, but I (like most females) go through cycles of really wanting to be with someone and then being completely satisfied with God. I'm sure you guys go through that in a different way. I'm learning a lot about you guys cause all the CFC guys here talk about is Wild At Heart and Braveheart. Its odd.

Anyways, I was all "i really want a relationship. not a boyfriend. a relationship. someone to make me laugh, be dorky with, to intrigue me, push me, challenge me, rebuke me, love me. But someone who also has the ability to make me frustrated, angry, annoyed, cry etc. I want the WHOLE couch jumping PACKAGE." Later on that evening (friday) i was at our CFC weekly meeting, totally not listening to what Strongitharm was saying (let's be serious, I've heard that schpeel about what CFC is about approximately 239 048 209 347 times) and I realized: thats why they call it a 'relationship with God'.

After going through everything I've been through with Him, including this summer, I feel it. We're like an old married couple. Not the fighting kind... the cute kind that are 9 bazillion years old and still hold hands walking down the street. the kind that know they need each other (or at least I need God) and they're cool with that. They're just comfortable in their love that used to be super passionate and crazy mad, but has matured over time with their relationship. I feel like it's a great picture of what marriage is supposed to be. Sometimes you just have to stick it out, like I had to at the start of the summer and be like "Right now I'm pretty pissed with you, but I made a committment and I'm sticking to it" and getting through that only makes things stronger.

On a completely different note. I don't hate publicity anymore. I just need to get myself a little bit better organized. And need to be a part of some communication haha. Please keep our second Does God Exist debate that is going on Oct 17 in your prayers. its the day of one of my midterms & I have to publicize it.